God and me

God, Your grace is more than sufficient for me
You are able to bring (and will bring) to completion the good work you have begun in me
I will trust in You and not limit You by placing You in a box
Enlarge my perspective, God, to recognise, to an increasing measure, how great You really are
My hope is in You, I will remain in You so that my joy and peace are made complete in You
I am going to take hold of Your promises
I am going to receive Your power and authority
I am not going to let Satan rob me anymore of my life in You
Yes, I am going to live out the abundant life You have given me to live
You, O God, will never leave me, forsake me or short change me
Although there are many times I do not understand, my faith will be in You
You are my Strength, my Healer, my Protector, my Deliverer
I will claim and proclaim Your Word - Your Truth
You have placed me above my enemies
You are my Jehovah Jireh - My Provider
You will bring every Word You have ever spoken to pass
Thank You Lord - You are God alone, My God whom I worship
I am found in You, I belong to You, not as an object but one precious to You
i am free in You, redeemed in You
Free to live, to dance, to sing, to declare this freedom to others that they may experience Your freedom too - Free to make a difference
I am a woman - captivating - beautiful, adored by Her Maker
A beauty that is powerful, alluring, comforting, inspiring
Because it is a beauty that reflects You
I am free to be beautiful so that others may discover their true beauty in You and return to You
I am a woman - a fearless fighter in a great adventure
No more negative thinking, no more fears and tears but life!

On My Nightstand

Taken from Radiant Magazine - this online publication has been discontinued

I keep a book on my nightstand, tucked somewhere securely and tightly in the back—probably a little dusty, certainly a little worn, most of the time forgotten. It is a journal … sort of. It is more an ongoing letter, a correspondence between my husband and me. He sleeps next to me on the other side of the bed, inches away, so our book isn’t for the purpose of spanning the distance. It is for the sake of securing our souls; it is for the purpose of sealing tightly the tie that binds. So I keep this book close by.

I keep it to help me remember—to help us remember—what makes us … us.

It is a record of our moments—our story, its fairytale-like quality, the romance, the love, the dreams and hopes for our union. He started it nearly two years ago as an aid for his proposal, asking for my hand, hoping for the world, giving his heart.

I wrote back that night, revealing a lifetime spent imagining this moment, brought to fruition on one of the most faultless and perfect days. I asked for the world, I hoped for his hand and I accepted his heart, giving mine to him.

That was where the book started, the opening pages a preamble to our declaration of love. The pages that follow are our accounts of the marked significant moments. Our wedding day, our first days away from one another, our anniversary, the purchase of our first home together. Written not for the sake of communicating, but for the sake of remembering.

So this book, the one that I keep tucked in the back of my nightstand, is like a trigger. It is the way we recount the story, the noteworthy spans; it is our way of recalling what has been, of anticipating what can be and of taking pause in what is.

We read our book and we write in our book not because we think we will forget the day we got engaged or the day we got married—not because if we didn’t write it down, those days would be lost to us. We write because we are in danger of forgetting the significance—because sometimes in the mundane monotony of life, we overlook the soulfulness of our story, the lifeblood of our story. Writing it down enables us to remember.

There is another book in my nightstand. It is also a book of moments and of accounts, written by a God passionate about stories, passionate about recalling the substance that makes up our history with Him. It is a book of letters, from God to us, from us to God, and the messiness in the romance and the delicate beauty of pain. And we read this book, not because we will forget the narrative between the covers, but because in reading and rereading, we are marking its essence with value. Remembering what took place between the thin pages of my Bible reminds me where I came from, where I fit in the grand story and where this fervent account is headed. I remember, because somehow, wonderfully, mysteriously, I am a part of its telling.

I believe my God is a God who cares about remembering, who diligently and intentionally established His people as ones saturated in the discipline of recollecting. God remembered, still remembers His people. He remembered, still remembers His covenants. And with each significant moment, each defining event, there was time to commemorate. Feasts, fasting and festivals—all founded to dispel forgetfulness.

“I will not forget,” God assures. “Remember well,” He instructs.

And I don’t think His instruction was offered for practical purposes—because He feared a mental block where we would literally forget Him. I believe His encouragement, His plea to us is one made for our own sakes. Remember, because you will be tempted to live habitually without making the time to halt, to recall, what the big moments felt like.

And the big moments—they are your soulfulness. They are your lifeblood. You need them. Life is hinged on them. This story can’t go where it needs to go unless you remember where it has been.

We break bread, we share wine—and we do so in remembrance, in effort to evoke our spirits to wakefulness. We do so communally, we do so individually—and all the while we are branding on our souls the worth found in remembering.

There are two books in my nightstand. Both are precious. Both contain the spirit of my soul. Both spur me toward greatly anticipated tomorrows, and both equally incite me to take the time to look back. The story is bigger than right now. Much of the story is found in ceremoniously pausing to remember. Slow down. Remember. Stand still. Remember. Wait. And remember.

Otherwise, I’ll miss it. I’ll lose my place. I will overlook my history, and I will be tempted to forget. And I can’t forget. Too much is at stake, the journey with my husband, the romance with my God. As strong, as pure and as necessary as the pull is toward what awaits the next day, the next page, there is the incessant and lucid appeal to remember what went before.

We remember—where we have been, what we have been delivered from and what pinched and smoothed us into what we are now.

We do this; we do all of this, like Christ mandates, in remembrance.

next stop: marriage

Stay tuned for silly posts on my wedding preparations and things...thought I'd have a change of 'scenery' in terms of post topics...oh, and I'll add photos to break the flow of previous posts too

broken

For some reason, I felt particularly broken during the service today...I thank God for continuing to do His transformational work in me...the same struggles have been resurfacing so I appreciate that once again He is being really patient, not wanting me to be lacking in anything or perish. I've been reading articles from Radiant Magazine again...each time I read, there will always be at least one piece of writing that strikes a deep chord in my heart and causes the tears to flow...I cry with an ache in my heart.

I yearn to be strong like those women - they have overcome their situations and found security (hope, peace and joy) in God. And in turn they share and bring the life they have discovered to others. I want to be such a light, to write with such a healing and inspirational power that comes only from their relationship with God, which has brought them total freedom. We sang this song tonight that reminds me of His freedom and His ability to heal my broken heart and give me strength for the journey ahead: In Your Freedom. 

I don't want their plights to become added burdens upon my heart but I want their victories to resound and cause me to have more faith in my God; faith that draws me closer to Him and raises me as a spiritual giant - one with the purpose of being secure to be beautiful so that I may reach out to women who have shut out their beauty or forgotten or failed to recognise the purity and power of that beauty given by God due to being perceived as objects by men and maybe even by themselves.

Yes, my heart has always been for women oppressed yet instead of standing up to fight fearlessly for them, I have allowed their circumstances to overwhelm me with a fear paralysing...it is a deception I know now yet am still battling to conquer. One day, soon I do hope, I shall rid myself of these lies and move on to what God has called me to. I will write for His glory and bring His truth, love, grace and beauty to others to empower them and bring them back to Him! Have I shared about God's call and anointing for me to write?

caution

You may have noticed I have removed the little message board that used to sit on the right bottom corner of my blog...I haven't logged in for some time now but this morning I found that someone by the alias of "Cristy" left a suspicious link seemingly leading to an inapprorpriate site so I decided to remove that function. Comments may still be left by attaching them to a post as this can be moderated.