Ponderings

The reason I included the two excerpts below is that these are the things God is reminding me of...particularly repentance. I've grown up in a Christian family but God was never someone important to me. I never doubted His existence or that of angels, Satan and Heaven and Hell but I always doubted His intentions...

I've mentioned somewhere below that I still do battle with doubts but coming to Australia really set the course in my journey with God as before then He was not as important to me, being someone my parents believed in and my mum dragged me to church for. When you start attending Sunday School from a young age, you gather a certain amount of knowledge but as I was never particularly interested in the personal relationship I could have with God, that knowledge always stayed at a surface level.

Having been a Christian for many years by the time I reached Australia did not mean I truly understood the fundamentals of my 'faith'. In fact, I merely took it all for granted. You would think I would have gotten it by now but even at this stage I need reminders of the basics like repentance and the covenantal relationship I now have with Him.

A covenantal relationship signifies an unbreakable bond unless one party or both wilfully choose to end the promise of complete commitment. Despite all I have done and still do (and I'm talking about the unsightly 'please-lock-them-in-the-closet-and-burn-them' sins), God holds true to this relationship, faithfully offering leading, guidance, comfort, strength, forgiveness, grace, love...the list goes on...this does not give me a ticket to abuse this trust because in His sovereignty and righteousness God cannot be mocked by us and at times there are consequences to be faced.

It's "amazing" how I can blatantly forget this truth and honestly, I doubt I have really let it sink in because I ask myself each time I fail to uphold holiness and righteousness in my attitudes, speech and actions, "what are my convictions that I can still be 'nailing Christ to the cross' like this?"

Thank you God for your unending love and immeasurable grace towards me...your patience is incredible!