Reaching new heights

Dear Phoebe,

Are you sensing my apprehension with regards to sending you to childcare when I return to work in January? Do you have an inkling that I will miss your sweet face and soft hugs and even your screams? I know it will be good for both of us to have a change of scenery, social interaction with other toddlers (for you) and other adults (for me), a new focus and some different activities. However, I'm hesitant as you are my precious little baby and you've become more clingy towards me lately. Also, you have not napped in your cot during the day for a long time now. How will you go when no one has the time to rock you to sleep and hold you in the carrier? Will you have enough at meal times? Will you get upset and think I've abandoned you to complete strangers? Will you eat paint (since it's allowed at the centre) or swallow too much dirt because no one is watching at that very moment when you're playing outside? My heart and mind find rest only in believing that God will take care of every detail.

Perhaps you are aware that our time together will not be as extensive once the new year comes. I worry it will be too big a deal going from being with Papa and I as well as family for about a month over the holiday season to being left in the care of two people you have not met and a bunch of kids who could potentially pass you every germ under the sun for three days a week or injure you inadvertently. I have brought you to the childcare centre a few times to get acquainted with the place but the two lovely ladies in charge of the baby room will not be your group leaders as staff rotate across classes there. Maybe this whole thing will be more frightening for me than for you. Anyway, let us both learn to be brave, confident and strong for I too will be facing new challenges in the office. 

One thing I do not want to miss out on is your firsts. Yes, I will find out how you've progressed through the daily report and photographs recorded, and I will see the change when we get home. But that is not the same. My guess (or what I'd like to think even though it's probably far fetched) is that you have somehow clued in on this, because this week alone you have gifted me with several new milestones. These amazing moments make me proud as your Mama and pleased as punch that I am getting the first hand experience. 

On Sunday, as you were lying in Papa's arms and drinking water out of a bottle (feeding yourself proficiently with one hand), Papa asked if he could have some and opened his mouth. Without missing a beat, you took the bottle out of your mouth and aimed the teat at his. You repeated this when asked again and then pointed the bottle towards me when I made the request. I don't know where other babies your age are at with things like this but who cares because to me you are a clever, clever cookie! The day before you did this trick, we were having lunch at a Korean restaurant and placed you in the pram beside our table. Papa handed you a bottle of water, which you promptly took hold of. You then realised the cap was still on, so you looked at me, leaned forward to tap the bottle on the table and said, "Eh, eh". After I removed the cover, you contentedly sat back to take a drink. Smart as skittles you are, I tell ya! Monday was the bomb. You looked at me and said "Mum, Mama" over and over. It doesn't matter that you also use it randomly, I was still over the moon, especially when you softly called out while standing at your table walker trying to find me when I stepped into the room briefly. 

Yesterday was like having front row seats at a famous magician's performance because you didn't just delight us with one highlight but presented two new skills in the evening. First, you started clapping when Papa made some cheering sounds and did a bit of a jig. We have showed you how to clap a thousand times and even tried putting your palms together but you have always kept your hands in fists or pulled away or displayed disinterest, but last night, you just decided out of the blue to clap and did so perfectly. I was so ecstatic I gave you loud hurrahs and shouted yay and got all silly happy. Papa filmed this. Then, when Papa put you into the cot to get ready for bed, you stood up in one fluid motion! You just pulled yourself up from a sitting position by holding onto the edge. Granted this couldn't quite be replicated after the second go but hey I got to see it when Papa excitedly called me into the room, and it only goes to prove the growth that's happening in you. Papa quickly lowered the base of your cot for safety reasons. It'd be disastrous if you stood and plopped out before anyone could catch you.

Oh sweetie, everyday with you is a gift from God. I am priviledged to be your Mama and am grateful you still appear to love me even when I've let my self centred ways and emotions take the stand. You are so dear to Papa and I and just beautiful beyond words.

I love you,

Mama

Oh, I just remembered! We brought you to see friends of ours the Sunday before, and you got to meet a dog for the first time. Rufus is a teddy bear poodle, and a great introduction to the canine species as he doesn't shed at all and is gentle with children. You squealed at the sight of him and got incredibly thrilled when he licked your toes. You were so taken up by him and weren't afraid to show this, that he got a little freaked out. There were a couple of times where I had to stop you from tugging at his ear too hard or pulling at his fur.