satisfied

Had green tea ice-cream and way too much sushi (the Spider Roll, Himawari, Red Dragon and Takoyaki) with Charis tonight but it was really good! My belly is very happy...and round...my belly's name is Bert...I told my friend Julie we have a great relationship - I feed him and he keeps me company...anyway, one day I shall work on putting him on a diet as he's getting a little too big...yes, one fine day...

Mentioned to a couple of friends that God has brought up the area of satisfaction in Him...it was sparked by a conversation I had with Yen over another huge Japanese dinner *grin* (we were talking about marriage). I need to learn to find my satisfaction in Him as I have been placing very unreasonable expectations on others, particularly those closest to me and have not allowed them to express their love for me in their own way...well, I do, but then on the other hand my emotions turn into this great big monster and suddenly I am nit-picking at every tiny detail...it's like that with God so it certainly starts there. God loves me tremendously and I know and have experienced it to a vast degree. Yet I often do not allow God to love me as I shut Him out...three seconds later though I demand something but then when He responds, my reaction seems to say, "that's not good enough"...I am not explaining myself very accurately but that's the gist of it. God is so long-suffering...patiently assuring and reassuring me time and time again of His boundless and endless love for me despite my repeated failures. I want to experience wholeness in Him...I need that...wholeness...not a heart with a big hole in it.

Side Note: Yesterday, at a friend's birthday and graduation barbeque, Fab made me a heart shape out of a bread roll he toasted on the grill...he's the cutest...I just had to brag...