...why I've cooped myself at home for the past 7 months. Well, 7 months minus the three weeks I was in Singapore. And the week I was in Melbourne and the week in Adelaide. And the week with Julie and the week with Gwee and times with Elise and Millie and Angela and Nicole and Shin Yee...
...why I don't choose daily to face life bravely and just live. Why, when I have a whole body and the time, I haven't felt free to take walks on my own along the beach knowing that God is actually with me the entire time. Why I have barely left the safety of my desk and the security of my home. Why I have just glued myself to the computer or whittled the time with house chores.
...why I haven't read more, drawn more, painted more, created more. Gone out to explore the world. Opened my mind to think on a bigger scale and put some goals and plans into place. Gathered more ideas, captured inspiration, found a muse even. Made new friends...found true joy.
But, as friends have pointed out, "why?" is not as useful a question starter as "what, who, where, when and how" for these point more to action. To solution. To change.
So perhaps I should be wondering...
...how to organise my days for the rest of the year
...how I can be more constructive
...what my objectives are
...what I am going to do to achieve them
...where I see myself in the next 3 years
...what I see myself doing
...when I should execute certain plans
Hmm...
I need to find passion, drive, direction, focus, vision...so question, how do I go about this?
Just wondering who I really am and what I am here for...
2 comments:
hon...i'll keep you in prayer.
This sounds really 'duh', but continue to draw near to Him.I think its encouraging that you are asking why you haven't stepped out - that's a first step that lots of people don't make. Perhaps things really seem uncertain now - but I promise you, you are on the CUSP of the Lord's biig plans for you ( the foundation of some of these have already been laid, and others have already started to take root). - and when it all starts happening, it will happen super fast. I used to have the same questions, but He never answered in any crash of lightning/thunder way. It was just me putting one foot in front of the other, and holding on to His hand while I did. And suddenly, stuff started falling in place like I could never have imagined.And trust me, you can't even BEGIN to anticipate the cool things God is going to do through and for you. I hope this doesn't seem presumptuous k?
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