God has been so gracious in giving me words of encouragement these past couple of days, particularly since my breakdown on Tuesday. I've been rather depressed for a while now and there are days where I just feel more overwhelmed. And it makes no sense at all because I have always had a wonderful life. Many would be so envious and chide me for being so immature and ridiculous. And that would be a very logical response. Still, there are things I just can't get my head around and they upset me. They eat away at what little faith I have, what little confidence, little resolve. I don't think I'm ready for the answers and I guess it's irrelevant whether I receive them or not, so God reminded me once again that "His thoughts are not my thoughts and His ways not my ways. That His are higher..." I used to find this one hard to swallow and in some ways still do. Because it's not enough, or so I argue. It just seems to be His excuse for everything. But the truth of the matter is, He really is way beyond me. So I can't try to reason His intentions with my limited understanding of situations and His character. I can't fit Him into a box, label Him, find some fixed method of analysing His words and actions.
Today as I slip farther into my downward emotional spiral, He says to me, "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go" (Joshua 1:9). God has brought me to this passage many times over the years yet I have not grasped hold of it. I'm comforted that despite my incessant yelling and accusing, that He is patiently reaching out to me and speaking sense into my frazzled mind.
I appreciate the kinds words various ones have given me. I have a feeling I may have freaked everyone out with Tuesday morning's post since no one responded to that one in particular. Somehow I'm struggling with putting the one on not worrying into practice but I can't expect there to be overnight progress when addressing years and years of fears, insecurities and resentment. I hope the passages will bring you comfort if you are going through a difficult time and are wondering why it has to be so hard or why sometimes it seems so unfair and unbalanced - the way some never know pain and others suffer tremendously. I will try to cling to the thought that God will never give us more than He will enable us to bear.
Oh, thank you for the compliments on the wedding photos too :)
Today as I slip farther into my downward emotional spiral, He says to me, "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go" (Joshua 1:9). God has brought me to this passage many times over the years yet I have not grasped hold of it. I'm comforted that despite my incessant yelling and accusing, that He is patiently reaching out to me and speaking sense into my frazzled mind.
I appreciate the kinds words various ones have given me. I have a feeling I may have freaked everyone out with Tuesday morning's post since no one responded to that one in particular. Somehow I'm struggling with putting the one on not worrying into practice but I can't expect there to be overnight progress when addressing years and years of fears, insecurities and resentment. I hope the passages will bring you comfort if you are going through a difficult time and are wondering why it has to be so hard or why sometimes it seems so unfair and unbalanced - the way some never know pain and others suffer tremendously. I will try to cling to the thought that God will never give us more than He will enable us to bear.
Oh, thank you for the compliments on the wedding photos too :)
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