It doesn't have to be

Following God doesn't have to be a head game. Yet it often is for me. The battlefield of the mind. The warring thoughts, the tugging emotions. Swaying now to the left, and now to the right.

David Gray sings (in Babylon), "Let go of your heart, let go of your head. And feel it now." Jenn Johnson from Bethel Church incorporated this when worshipping with the song "I love Your presence" by Anthony Skinner. She took the lines "And if you want it, come and get it, crying out loud. The love that I was giving you was never in doubt" from David, singing "And if you want it, come and get it, crying out loud. The love that He has (referring to God) given you is never in doubt".

We were made for abandonment. To experience freedom. But we hold back out of fear. The fear of others' opinions. Some of us are told that expressing praise through the extension of our hands,clapping, bowing, kneeling, dancing (even if it appears uncoordinated and uncool), jumping, shouting triumphantly, the use of instruments and the like is undignified and unnecessary. Others view such acts as cult-like. "Fanatics", they brand us. Yet it's "anything goes" at a rock concert, club or sports game.

People lose themselves in alcohol and drugs. They yell profanity and abuse one another. This has become a norm in various societies. People putting themselves aside to focus on the infallible God (not a fallible heavy metal band leader or business guru or rugby star) and connect with Him, however, is counted insane, weak, foolish.

Where is the logic in that?

When asked why we awkwardly stand and observe the worship in church, or simply choose to stay solemnly still without entering into God's presence, do we respond with, "Well, God knows my heart", "I have an introverted personality", "I don't feel like it", "This is Church"?

Do we truly grasp how much God loves us? Do we recognise He is the only one worthy of our complete worship and devotion, that He's the only one who can carry our burdens? That if we don't praise God, who only has our best interests in mind, we will consciously or unconsciously praise someone or something else? Our passivity robs us of our destiny. Our calling can only be achieved through our wholehearted response.

If it feels like God doesn't show up, it's because we haven't honestly given Him an invitation or room to sit with us.

We're blinded and deceived because the enemy knows if we figure out the truth, we will have the power of God working in and through our lives. That there will be genuine rest, peace, joy (and so strength), hope, healing, purity, boldness, victory, unity and salvation.

Are we willing to give Him a chance to show Himself real in our lives?

Perhaps I wait for that one incredible personal encounter with God, thinking that I will then naturally respond with total surrender. But perhaps God waits for me to choose surrender, despite whatever is going on in my life or how stupid I feel I look, before revealing what I've been missing out on. 

He has held nothing back from me but there is so much in store I have yet to receive and experience because of my own choices. He does not hide treasures from me but for me to find and revel in.

He doesn't play games that taunt and tease us, so why do we? Why do we bargain and blame, and make empty promises?

Following God does require our heads. It is perfectly logical. God is intellectual and He's made us intellectual. In fact, He's given us wonderful minds. He did not create robots or defected goods. We do not throw away our wisdom and blindly obey. We obey because we know it is the wisest decision. We've worked out He is good and can be trusted, even if uncertainty lies ahead. We exert the effort to consciously throw off the negative thoughts and feelings that hinder (so in this regard, we are "letting go of our heart and head"). The thoughts that take our voice and press on our hands and feet so hard we cannot move.  

(Reflections on this song and my current read: The Great Connection by Bonnie Deuschle)