I had my performance review about a week ago. How great God's grace is for me! My manager kept praising me. It was so awkward, I just kept staring at the desk. She wants to have my performance recorded as being 'outstanding', which, if approved by the Executive Dean and Faculty Executive Officer, means I will receive a double increment in pay at the start of 2010.
Prior to our appointment, I emailed her regarding my appraisal forms and wrote, "I'd like to discuss something before completing the section on what I hope to achieve next year if that's alright with you". When it came to that part of the review, she turned and said to me with a slight laugh, "So, is this the bit where you tell me you're leaving me?" I replied, "well, pretty much!" (sheepish laughter following). I had been stressing over how I ought to break the news that for the past few months I have really wanted to experience a change in terms of career direction. I prayed that she would receive the news well and would still allow me to have the leave I had applied for over the Christmas and New Year season (a month to spend with family and friends).
Surprisingly, she was incredibly supportive and asked if there was anything that could be done with my current role to encourage me to stay on. I explained that the daily commute has been a large deciding factor and that I am, to put it bluntly, "over the job". She understood the necessity for me to find something that would give me a sense of fulfilment because my present job is very repetitive and I have not gained much in terms of skills. I do love many of my colleagues though and feel reluctant to say goodbye.
My manager advised me not to let my feelings of obligation or fear to break out of the mould stop me from advancing. Her reasoning was that many just stick with the routine though they know that are dry simply because they have done it for years and it is familiar. Sometimes people have to stop and evaluate if what they're doing is really purposeful and leading them somewhere or if they're simply going with the motions of everyday life and not letting themselves question why they feel so dead. She would rather see me progress and not get stuck in a rut and turn bitter and twisted. She then thanked me for what I had contributed.
What a blessing this was for me! I cannot thank God enough for this. If I do muster the courage to take the step, I will most likely be handing in my resignation just prior to going on leave so that my manager has sufficient time to advertise and appoint a new staff member. I will then work for about two weeks upon returning from leave to tie up any loose ends, do a proper handover of my work to the new recruit, and say my goodbyes.
At this juncture, I recall the prophecy Fab and I received at least year's presbytery. Prophet John Jacks specifically told me that at some point fairly soon I would take a different path, as it were. One that would be, for a lack of a better phrase, deemed economically unviable by those who love and care for me. As such they may question my decision for the change in direction but only out of concern for my well being. The word for me was to be patient with them and love them. To trust in God's provision and wait for the time where He would reveal to them what He is doing in and through me. They would then know of His plans and promises for me and that they are good.
On the same night, Elise (Hope Gold Coast) had a vision of Fab and myself. She said she saw images of us cooking together, walking along the beach, shopping and simply enjoying life. In all the pictures that flashed before her of us, none showed us working. The word was that we trust God and relax. She sensed that I question a lot about the future and that God's response was that I sit back and trust Him for His provision and His best. As we prepare for this year's presbytery, Fab and I are seeking Him for clarity for the future. For His guidance. He has promised us and our future generations peace. I just need to claim it and live in it and not live out of fear and immaturity.
Prior to our appointment, I emailed her regarding my appraisal forms and wrote, "I'd like to discuss something before completing the section on what I hope to achieve next year if that's alright with you". When it came to that part of the review, she turned and said to me with a slight laugh, "So, is this the bit where you tell me you're leaving me?" I replied, "well, pretty much!" (sheepish laughter following). I had been stressing over how I ought to break the news that for the past few months I have really wanted to experience a change in terms of career direction. I prayed that she would receive the news well and would still allow me to have the leave I had applied for over the Christmas and New Year season (a month to spend with family and friends).
Surprisingly, she was incredibly supportive and asked if there was anything that could be done with my current role to encourage me to stay on. I explained that the daily commute has been a large deciding factor and that I am, to put it bluntly, "over the job". She understood the necessity for me to find something that would give me a sense of fulfilment because my present job is very repetitive and I have not gained much in terms of skills. I do love many of my colleagues though and feel reluctant to say goodbye.
My manager advised me not to let my feelings of obligation or fear to break out of the mould stop me from advancing. Her reasoning was that many just stick with the routine though they know that are dry simply because they have done it for years and it is familiar. Sometimes people have to stop and evaluate if what they're doing is really purposeful and leading them somewhere or if they're simply going with the motions of everyday life and not letting themselves question why they feel so dead. She would rather see me progress and not get stuck in a rut and turn bitter and twisted. She then thanked me for what I had contributed.
What a blessing this was for me! I cannot thank God enough for this. If I do muster the courage to take the step, I will most likely be handing in my resignation just prior to going on leave so that my manager has sufficient time to advertise and appoint a new staff member. I will then work for about two weeks upon returning from leave to tie up any loose ends, do a proper handover of my work to the new recruit, and say my goodbyes.
At this juncture, I recall the prophecy Fab and I received at least year's presbytery. Prophet John Jacks specifically told me that at some point fairly soon I would take a different path, as it were. One that would be, for a lack of a better phrase, deemed economically unviable by those who love and care for me. As such they may question my decision for the change in direction but only out of concern for my well being. The word for me was to be patient with them and love them. To trust in God's provision and wait for the time where He would reveal to them what He is doing in and through me. They would then know of His plans and promises for me and that they are good.
On the same night, Elise (Hope Gold Coast) had a vision of Fab and myself. She said she saw images of us cooking together, walking along the beach, shopping and simply enjoying life. In all the pictures that flashed before her of us, none showed us working. The word was that we trust God and relax. She sensed that I question a lot about the future and that God's response was that I sit back and trust Him for His provision and His best. As we prepare for this year's presbytery, Fab and I are seeking Him for clarity for the future. For His guidance. He has promised us and our future generations peace. I just need to claim it and live in it and not live out of fear and immaturity.
1 comment:
Hey Jos. I feel a great sense of anticipation for you and it's really really good to see your next few steps!!!
About the coast, I will I will..sigh....let me see when I can take leave.
Post a Comment