This was hard for me to read and swallow because there are so many times I still question. In fact, my questions have grown louder and more intense in recent months. I know what the author has said is true. But for me, it's a head knowledge, not something I am truly convinced and convicted about. Perhaps because I have never had to suffer greatly in my life. Not having experienced a great degree of pain (in comparison with the terrible things I know others have to endure) from my own circumstances, I fear that one day it will be my time to face a massive trial.
Why is it I cannot look beyond this to the greater outcome? Can I not fully trust that there is a greater outcome? That God does not will for me to suffer for nothing? Or worse, that He does not do so for His own pleasure? It pleases Him not that we hurt deeply but that we finally see Him and find a peace and joy that transcends all human understanding.
Lord, help me to look not at what the people on this earth are going through (rape, miscarriages, abuse, neglect, torture, disease, loss...) but at what You are doing. Help me see You. Your heart and what it is that You are carrying out for good purpose. One may read that You do all these things for Your glory and, without comprehension, think this sounds so sadistic. But it is not as we perceive on the surface.
This author explains God's intentions quite clearly. In some ways her story is helping me to find clarity in my negative thoughts. After saving this author's blog (her name is Lynette Kraft - she has the word 'Dancing' in the title of her blog), I clicked on a blog link I have had saved in the same category (Dancing by the Light) and lo and behold found her writing about "The Good Ache" which to me echoes what Lynette's son said to her about stretching our muscles. You'll have to read Lynette's story first to get what I'm saying.
Why is it I cannot look beyond this to the greater outcome? Can I not fully trust that there is a greater outcome? That God does not will for me to suffer for nothing? Or worse, that He does not do so for His own pleasure? It pleases Him not that we hurt deeply but that we finally see Him and find a peace and joy that transcends all human understanding.
Lord, help me to look not at what the people on this earth are going through (rape, miscarriages, abuse, neglect, torture, disease, loss...) but at what You are doing. Help me see You. Your heart and what it is that You are carrying out for good purpose. One may read that You do all these things for Your glory and, without comprehension, think this sounds so sadistic. But it is not as we perceive on the surface.
This author explains God's intentions quite clearly. In some ways her story is helping me to find clarity in my negative thoughts. After saving this author's blog (her name is Lynette Kraft - she has the word 'Dancing' in the title of her blog), I clicked on a blog link I have had saved in the same category (Dancing by the Light) and lo and behold found her writing about "The Good Ache" which to me echoes what Lynette's son said to her about stretching our muscles. You'll have to read Lynette's story first to get what I'm saying.
1 comment:
Jocelyn,
I came over to leave a comment after reading your comment on my post - Suffering - God's Will?
However, after reading this post, I don't think there's much left to say. You have answered it yourself. :)
I don't think a person can fully understand the beauty in suffering, until they've suffered. Believing that God is at work through horrible circumstances is very much like believing in Jesus as our personal Lord and Savior. It's a sort of faith in his promises that you can only claim and understand once you have received it. Does that make sense?
Thank you for sharing your heart. I can tell that you want to fully trust God and I honestly believe he will bless your desire to understand and know him better.
With heart,
Lynnette
Dancing Barefoot on Weathered Ground
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