"Oh how many times have I broken Your heart, still You forgive, if only I'd ask"
I won't go into detail of how I have grieved God exactly but lately God has really been targeting the area of holiness in my life as I have truly been failing in loving others and in discarding idols that I have cherished in some way or another. Often we do not realise it but so many things we hold dear or simply dwell upon in our minds, even if we entertain the thoughts for a short time, are actually idols in our lives and can destroy us if we are not careful. This is something I did just last night and this morning's daily verse was on holiness. Thank You God for Your grace towards me!
It's been a struggle to love certain people in my work place and sometimes it's hard to love people within the house of God. Either way it can be due to personality clashes (although now I've learnt to adapt towards this more so it's not so much this) or because I have come to find it hard to respect particular things about them - their speech, actions/behaviour. The thing is, others could very well say that about me.
Patience, love and grace - three things God has never failed to show me...now I need to learn to show it to others. God, help! We are asked to pray that God will forgive us and help us forgive others as God will not forgive if we do not. And why shouldn't we if He, in His perfect holiness, is ever willing to do so. Yet I struggle...it's horrendously "amazing" how long I am able to harbour ill-feelings towards another person. The resentment and bitterness can be kept for years, slowly eating me from the inside. God has released me from unforgiveness several times and I can surely vouch that it is such a wonderful, peace and life-giving experience to let go of such negativity. So since I have gone through this, why do I still find it so hard to let go at times? How many times do I intend to 'nail' the perpetrator/offender to the cross? More often that not, what the person has done really isn't such a big deal but I have let it sink so deeply to hurt me.
My prayer is that God will guard our hearts and minds so all such bad influences (be it from things others have said or done, or us thinking negatively due to an experience or something we have seen, heard or read) slide off us like water on a duck's back.
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