I often wonder about the background or upbringing a person had when they turn to become rapists, serial killers, murderers, terrorists. It's inevitable that the environment they were brought up in or the kind of influence they had at a young impressionable age would have contributed to their moulding. Often our experiences can make or break us. We can be determined to overcome our adversities and not let the hurt crush us, where in turn we may hurt others.
When TD Jakes attended a conference at the Aspen Institute as a guest speaker, he was amazed to learn, during one of the sessions, that "children often succeed even when they are raised in dysfunctional homes as long as they are raised in a good neighbourhood...children are more influenced by neighbourhood values than by their home life because they spend more of their waking hours outside the home. It does indeed take a village to raise a child. If children are exposed to caring individuals, role models, and examples of healthy people, they can still succeed, no matter how challenging life with their immediate families may have been."
This got me thinking. How well do we know our neighbours? How well am I willing to get to know my neighbours? If the community that these people lived in provided a more positive influence, if maybe they cared enough to stop the father from being a drunk and beating up his wife and raping his own daughter and living out a very poor example for his son, that son would not grow up to become his father.
Fab and I caught the very first episode of the new series "Life on Mars". A cop gets knocked down by a car and wakes up 35 years in the past. In his first case he encounters the serial killer he suspects has kidnapped his partner. Needless to say, the killer is only a child at this point in time. But he lives in the same building as the serial murderer this cop helps to catch during the investigation. It is then that the cop realises the pattern he had recognised in his examination of the victim found. The boy grown up is a copy cat murderer.
As they handcuff the killer and put him in the police car, the boy stares at the cop, enraged at him for dragging his friend away. Later that night the cop returns to the neighbourhood to look for the boy. The kid looks him in the eyes, angry at what the cop did, and says, "You were the one who took him away...I'm always afraid, he feared nothing..." Was this murderer the only one who had really taken the time to be a friend and role model to the boy?
My colleague shared with me the other day about a terrible incident that took place in the street where she lives. Teenagers often line the streets there in the evenings with bottles of alcohol in hand. Their parents or guardians are never anywhere to be seen, probably still at work or taking a night shift. The teenagers seem to have no purpose in life or the motivation to take their lives somewhere meaningful. They sit around smoking and drinking, shouting at the neighbours, jeering one another on towards the next prank.
As my colleague was driving along the street on her way home, a bunch of them decided to throw their empty bottles at her. They hollered and cheered, applauding their 'good work'. She yelled at them and rang the cops but nothing much came out of that. Apparently other neighbours had reported cases of misconduct and general disruption of peace within the neighbourhood. The cops admitted to getting a number of calls from the area but explained their hands were tied as available staff numbers were low at night. Those on duty had already been dispatched and only 2 were left to man the fort.
Goes to show the magnitude of crime occurring that they should run out of law enforcers on a single night. Having gotten away so far, the teenagers turned to a different stunt. As a young couple were returning after a dinner with friends. they rushed out and hurled concrete blocks towards the car. One slab broke threw a side window and landed smack onto the baby seat. Thankfully the couple had, for some reason, decided to leave their baby with a family member that evening while they went out for dinner. The loss would have been horrendously grave otherwise.
What can we do? From an early age, many of these teenagers are left to fend for themselves. There is no consistent healthy input into their lives. No proper fatherly or motherly role model. They see education as futile and turn instead to feeding their lusts for pleasure - for what "feels good", with no consideration of how their choices affect the lives of others. They move from one temporary source of pleasure to another, quickly losing interest and needing something of greater intensity to fuel their excitement. Some channel their energy towards drugs and partying, some vandalise community property, some engage in sexual immorality, others force intellectually disabled people to eat faeces, and others set fire to homeless individuals on the street. These neglected teenagers are tumbling down the path of depravity with no one to stop them and turn their destinies around. Their spirits are wasting away as no one and nothing speaks true love and life into them. They seek control in twisted ways to gain some form of footing in the world that seems to just rush past them with no word of encouragement, or worse harsh criticism.
I admit I too judge and resent them. I fail to look beyond their tough exterior, their crude jokes and rowdy manner. All I allow myself to see is their blatant inconsideration, their self centredness, their delight in bringing others down. I judge them for their speech and actions. But what if I took the time to get them on a day they weren't under the influence of drugs or alcohol, took them out for a meal and got them talking about things that still mattered to them? What if I just listened and got them engaged in a sport or a fun activity that didn't involve burning someone's home down or taking away the innocence of another child? What if I took the chance to step out of my comfort zone, took a step forward despite my fear of them and just reached out?
WHAT IF YOU DID?
They might one day come to church, one day invite God into their lives, one day become the next Nobel prize winner or community social worker.
When TD Jakes attended a conference at the Aspen Institute as a guest speaker, he was amazed to learn, during one of the sessions, that "children often succeed even when they are raised in dysfunctional homes as long as they are raised in a good neighbourhood...children are more influenced by neighbourhood values than by their home life because they spend more of their waking hours outside the home. It does indeed take a village to raise a child. If children are exposed to caring individuals, role models, and examples of healthy people, they can still succeed, no matter how challenging life with their immediate families may have been."
This got me thinking. How well do we know our neighbours? How well am I willing to get to know my neighbours? If the community that these people lived in provided a more positive influence, if maybe they cared enough to stop the father from being a drunk and beating up his wife and raping his own daughter and living out a very poor example for his son, that son would not grow up to become his father.
Fab and I caught the very first episode of the new series "Life on Mars". A cop gets knocked down by a car and wakes up 35 years in the past. In his first case he encounters the serial killer he suspects has kidnapped his partner. Needless to say, the killer is only a child at this point in time. But he lives in the same building as the serial murderer this cop helps to catch during the investigation. It is then that the cop realises the pattern he had recognised in his examination of the victim found. The boy grown up is a copy cat murderer.
As they handcuff the killer and put him in the police car, the boy stares at the cop, enraged at him for dragging his friend away. Later that night the cop returns to the neighbourhood to look for the boy. The kid looks him in the eyes, angry at what the cop did, and says, "You were the one who took him away...I'm always afraid, he feared nothing..." Was this murderer the only one who had really taken the time to be a friend and role model to the boy?
My colleague shared with me the other day about a terrible incident that took place in the street where she lives. Teenagers often line the streets there in the evenings with bottles of alcohol in hand. Their parents or guardians are never anywhere to be seen, probably still at work or taking a night shift. The teenagers seem to have no purpose in life or the motivation to take their lives somewhere meaningful. They sit around smoking and drinking, shouting at the neighbours, jeering one another on towards the next prank.
As my colleague was driving along the street on her way home, a bunch of them decided to throw their empty bottles at her. They hollered and cheered, applauding their 'good work'. She yelled at them and rang the cops but nothing much came out of that. Apparently other neighbours had reported cases of misconduct and general disruption of peace within the neighbourhood. The cops admitted to getting a number of calls from the area but explained their hands were tied as available staff numbers were low at night. Those on duty had already been dispatched and only 2 were left to man the fort.
Goes to show the magnitude of crime occurring that they should run out of law enforcers on a single night. Having gotten away so far, the teenagers turned to a different stunt. As a young couple were returning after a dinner with friends. they rushed out and hurled concrete blocks towards the car. One slab broke threw a side window and landed smack onto the baby seat. Thankfully the couple had, for some reason, decided to leave their baby with a family member that evening while they went out for dinner. The loss would have been horrendously grave otherwise.
What can we do? From an early age, many of these teenagers are left to fend for themselves. There is no consistent healthy input into their lives. No proper fatherly or motherly role model. They see education as futile and turn instead to feeding their lusts for pleasure - for what "feels good", with no consideration of how their choices affect the lives of others. They move from one temporary source of pleasure to another, quickly losing interest and needing something of greater intensity to fuel their excitement. Some channel their energy towards drugs and partying, some vandalise community property, some engage in sexual immorality, others force intellectually disabled people to eat faeces, and others set fire to homeless individuals on the street. These neglected teenagers are tumbling down the path of depravity with no one to stop them and turn their destinies around. Their spirits are wasting away as no one and nothing speaks true love and life into them. They seek control in twisted ways to gain some form of footing in the world that seems to just rush past them with no word of encouragement, or worse harsh criticism.
I admit I too judge and resent them. I fail to look beyond their tough exterior, their crude jokes and rowdy manner. All I allow myself to see is their blatant inconsideration, their self centredness, their delight in bringing others down. I judge them for their speech and actions. But what if I took the time to get them on a day they weren't under the influence of drugs or alcohol, took them out for a meal and got them talking about things that still mattered to them? What if I just listened and got them engaged in a sport or a fun activity that didn't involve burning someone's home down or taking away the innocence of another child? What if I took the chance to step out of my comfort zone, took a step forward despite my fear of them and just reached out?
WHAT IF YOU DID?
They might one day come to church, one day invite God into their lives, one day become the next Nobel prize winner or community social worker.
1 comment:
they just might...girl. they just might.
"But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved) and raised us up together, and made us to sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus," Eph. 2:4-6
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