Anyway, back to Nim's Island. It's just beautiful. Growing up like that would be amazing. I'd be one with nature. I'd be fearless. I'd adore the ocean, be close with the resident sea and land creatures. My room would be in the trees. It'd be perfect. No one would ever corrupt it or destroy it. The entire expanse of water and land would be completely untouched by anything that would disrupt the life there. I'd be with the people I love the very most. Friends visit from neighbouring islands much the same in beauty and serenity. Even the elements would not bring any harm. There might be nights of wind and rain, of tossing waves. But nothing would ever be taken out of place or hurt. It would be paradise here on earth.
But if you think about the way the world really is, I can't dream like this. Peace is not the lack of upheaval and total serenity. Peace is calmness and security amidst turmoil. Peace transcends human understanding and leaves us with greater faith in the One who can be trusted. I've always wanted my life to be simple and safe. I desire this for those I love. A beautiful life of love, friendship, music, goodness in every form. No rude neighbour, unruly street kid stealing something from the store next door. Everyone respectful and compassionate. Everyone working and living together in unity. I'm an idealist. This world lacks so much of strong moral values. The family. The basic unit meant to inculcate good convictions, meant to be guiding, nurturing, supporting in the right direction, has crumbled and failed in so many homes. There are no proper motherly and fatherly roles to be found, no proper boundaries set. Instead, there is abuse and pain. Which leads to more abuse and pain, for children reflect what they see and experience.
I could keep holding back. I could stay home and bake muffins all day, turn off the television showing me more bloodshed, put on a heartwarming video or soothing music, wrap myself up in the love of my family and friends, keep my life perfectly in place, perfectly safe and secure. But where would that lead me? I would have made no real contribution. No real difference to the world in need of a Saviour. God has no Plan B. We're it. You and I. Called to be salt and light. And what have I done? I've been negligent. In denial of the needs out there because they overwhelm me. Pastor Cho reminds us, "Yes, you are right! You are small! You can't do it! You are inadequate! But God has called you. And so He will equip, enable and empower you" With man, all things are impossible. With God, nothing is impossible.
Fab asked me what my retirement plans look like. Where I envisioned our last years to be. I had rest and relaxation on my mind. Resorts and restaurants and recreation. Time with family and friends. Fab's first words were evangelism, missions, God's work. I sighed. I knew he'd win if we had to make a choice there and then. God's call rules. His plans are sovereign.
And you know something? If I let go of the control I want over my life and hand that to God, I might actually truly enjoy myself on this adventure with God. It might bring us through frightening situations. I might even lose Fab. But at the end of the day, God will work all things for the good of those who love Him (even if it seems impossible to understand it at the time the excruciating pain hits). So now just to work on letting go and being convicted of this. Time to live a little more like the out-there-take-it-all-in-my-stride Alex Rover (watch the show to know what I'm talking about)
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