Whoa, slow down girl!

I realise my posts have been quite heavy off late. Some time ago, someone beautiful and inspiring encouraged me to write about the things that move me and weigh very much on my heart and mind. To turn my rage, or passion or anguish or whatever emotions I had welled up inside, into words. To just write what was real to me. To write so others could see and maybe understand or relate or be moved too. Thing is, I don't want to depress anyone. I want to be a voice for the oppressed. A voice for the hurting. I want to bring change, but I am fearful and ignorant. There is so much to learn, so much to get acquainted with, so much to mature in. I don't want to be swayed by peoples' perspectives of me. By what they will say or do, if it's going to deter me from pursuing that which can make a good difference in the world. I want to care only of what God thinks of me and of what He desires.

I struggle though. I hate being hated. I hate being shunted or rejected or thought and spoken ill of. I must grow in this. I must build character and convictions based upon Him. I must be as He has commanded - Strong, bold, courageous, sure. I must, with God's guidance, wisdom and strength, fight for those who have no strength left in them. I must speak for those who have lost their authority to be heard and considered. I must protect those who cannot protect themselves. I must lift those who have lost their wings to soar like eagles. I must bring restoration and healing - His restoration and healing. I must be an ambassador for God and not myself. Be this for His glory and not so people will like me, approve of me, praise me, accept me. I long to be included. I long to be loved. I long to be supported and not criticised. But in wanting all these things, I compromise. The fear of man is a snare. I should only care what God thinks.